37 thoughts on “The Best Of Ron Swanson (Parks and Recreation)”

  1. “Ron! You redacted all the information.”
    – “I answered some of them.”
    – “For "date of birth," you wrote "springtime." “
    – “Which is true.”
    – “Everything you write down is confidential. We need you to give real answers.”
    “How many drinks of alcohol do you consume a week? “
    -“ One.”
    – “That's it, one drink?”
    “One shelf.”
    – “Do you exercise?”
    – “Yes. Lovemaking and woodworking.”
    “Do you have any history of mental illness in your family? “
    “I have an uncle who does yoga.”
    – “Allergies?”
    – “Cowardice and weak-willed men. And hazelnuts.”
    “Sexual history”.
    “Epic and private.”

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